Belize It or Not: Courtney's Still WINNING

There is nothing more romantic on Valentine’s Day, then that pest of an alarm clock disrupting my sound slumber so that I can get up in the dark, get ready and make it to work for a 9 AM meeting. The Husband is equally entranced in romance, dreaming away on a different planet at this very moment. Speaking of romance, it seems absurd that we are already embarking on hometown dates next week. Does Ben really feel like he knows these women well enough to merit meeting their parents? Yet all 4 remaining women, have used the “L” word on Ben, and unfortunately, I’m not talking “loser.” At least if you can't watch another second of Courtney's lip twitching, self absorbed comments on why she needs a rose versus someone else, you have to admit that Belize looks like a pretty awesome place. 

Most of you have very strong opinions about our villainette, Courtney. Courtney’s haters seemed to grow exponentially since the previous episode and that seemed difficult. But at this point, I don’t blame Courtney any more. She is who she is. I get that she’s not there to make friends. We all get that. I get that the things that come out of her mouth are rude, self-indulgent, thoughtless and mean. But at this point, it’s on Ben. He’s received the benefit of a warning from multiple women. He’s seen Courtney’s reaction when confronted about the other women’s issues with her. She’s straight up told him the following: (1) she doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends – but she has tons of guy friends; (2) she thinks the other women are “vanilla,” – thus, putting down Ben’s “girlfriends;” (3) she has lost the “spark” for him; (4) she wasn’t going to accept a rose from him if she didn’t get the one on one. Holy high maintenance. This goes beyond satisfying Ben’s inner nerd by dating a model. Ben is now enjoying “the chase.” Courtney is the only one that hasn’t been pouring on the love.  This is a classic pull-away-to-make-him-pursue-you move.  Notice how she's not fawning all over Ben calling him her prince (aka Lindzi) or that she is "in love with him" (aka Nicki, Kacie B)?  She's a challenge for him and he's loving the game. [Side note: I have a friend who is CONVINCED that Courtney is a hired actress who is actually a very sweet, loving person that was told to act like a complete biatch for ratings. Hmmmm].

 In Lindzi’s defense, though the sexy laryngitis thing is like nails on a blackboard to me, I like that she has stayed completely uninvolved in the Courtney drama. She’s what we called in sorority days, a “slider.” She’s nice enough, cute enough, affectionate enough and way into Ben. There’s nothing particularly outrageous about her and she stays under the radar enough to just slide on through the eliminations. Ben likes her enough to keep her around, but if she’s still standing at the end, he will realize that his feelings for her aren’t particularly strong enough. If you read through the lines of Chris H's blog this week, Ben is still searching for a "deeper connection" with Lindzi and Nicki.  He already found it in Kacie and Courtney.  If this is true, I think we can pretty much predict the final 2.

 The fact that Ben is already declaring that he can see “past, present and future” with Courtney is very alarming. What exactly do we know about Courtney other than that she “is the talent” during her modeling shoots and she likes to get naked?

As for Emily, I am really really sad that she is gone. Not because I necessarily wanted her to end up with Ben, but because I hate seeing girls like that heartbroken and she was the voice of reason. I thought their date was really simple and cute, but maybe that was the problem with it. It was too normal. Or maybe he didn’t like that she kept saying his name in every sentence such as, “I’m very happy, Ben.” Who knows??! It get me aggravated just to think about him keeping Courtney over Emily. I liked that Kacie B showed a little spunk with her verbal opinions of Courtney. Gold star for Nicki for speaking up about Courtney, coming out of nowhere and getting the hometown date. She may be the “dark horse” that Chris Harrison was speaking of at my press call with him.

There really weren’t any favorite moments from last night, besides seeing the amazing places and sunsets of Belize. I also liked the 4 AM wake up of the ladies for the group date and watching them too emergency shaving together. It was too frustrating watching Courtney slither her way back into Ben’s graces, trying to make us think that she had any intention of going home. Just as unrealistic as making us think that Ben would send her home. Not happening. If he finds her “edgy,” he’s going to be sorely disappointed.  What is edgier or "weirder" than a rapping epidemiologist?? I can’t even imagine what an argument with Courtney would be like. She wants to be put on a pedestal and Ben is not even going to know what hit him. The question is – should we start rooting for Courtney at this point? Wouldn’t it be better that he chooses her so the rest of these women can get on with their lives? And the sooner he chooses her, the sooner we can watch the downfall? Am sorry to even be writing these worries. I had such high hopes for Ben this season, but I just think this Courtney cloud has possessed him and there is now way out alive. How scary was she when she got the rose and did a sideways glance to Emily while sniffing the rose? It was a scene out of a horror movie.

Let’s go straight to the best What The Fudge??!! moments from last night:

• Lindzi being forced to jump out of a helicopter into “the blue hole.” I would not have done that in a million years. It looked absolutely terrifying and jumping into an unknown body of water from the sky is not like falling in love, no matter how many times they try to beat this analogy into our heads.
• The lobster fishing thing would have scared the crap out of me. Nobody could convince me to go near a lobster in its native environment and start poking at it with a metal object. Isn't that just asking to get a body part clawed to death?
• Ben thinking that being on top of the ruins makes him feel close to his father and that his father would be happy for him.  This is also the "moment of clarity" where he basically reveals that he could see Courtney being his wife.  Seriously?  This guy is making me squirm.  I'm not sure I can take this madness much longer.
• Did Ben's haircut grow back already?
• Ben revealing that they are swimming with sharks sends Kacie B and Nicki into a symphony of cheers. I don’t get it. I felt really bad for Rachel and was glad that Ben was there for her. But it really did make it look like Kacie and Nicki were having their own one on one date with each other.
• It actually did make me laugh when Emily was horrified that Courtney dare say that Ben “was not the only guy in the world.” I mean, I know it’s The Bachelor, and we’re only allowed to fall in love with Ben and any thoughts about Ben not being the center of the universe are forbidden, but Courtney does actually make a valid point. Now whether she’s saying this because she’s confident she’s getting rose or just to piss off the other women – that’s a whole other story.
• Courtney’s facial expressions right before the rose ceremony when she was sitting around with the other ladies.
• I found it annoying that Ben didn’t walk out Rachel and Emily and even attempt to give them an explanation.
• How pissed is Emily that she had to walk up the Bay Bridge in San Francisco now that this clown has sent her home?
• Courtney's little dance of joy after getting the rose. She did everything but the shove the rose into Emily face.

Sadly, my notes from last night's show got erased somehow, and I only have my memory to write this review unless I want to rewatch the entire show tonight.  I'm not sure I could take the pain of Courtney's cruelty to the other girls or watch Emily get so severely disappointed by Ben again. That said, can you all help me out and chime in with Courtney's meanest lines from last night?

Here is the most horrifying one I caught her saying:

(About Kacie B): “She’s a little girl in a little boy’s body.” WHAT???!!

Bottom line here: Ben deserves what he is getting. Even in his blog today, he still can not admit that the warning signs were all there.  One of my mail colleagues thinks that Courtney might be the second pair of boobs he's ever seen in his life.  I am starting to believe it.  Best case scenario at this point: Ben either comes to his senses and cuts Courtney loose (never going to happen) or he proposes to her at the end and she says, "No."  This has NEVER happened in Bachelor history.  The girl always says yes.  But I could definitely see Courtney declining.  Ben is NOT the only guy in the world, afterall.